Of Shepherds and Caregivers and Changes in Life

It's been a minute since I last blogged. I assure you that is no indication of boredom or lack of things to share. It has everything to do with not having time to sit and process what to share and actually have time to sit with my laptop long enough to type it out. I'm certain this is not going to end up being cohesive, but rather thoughts on my mind as they make their escape through my fingers. Buckle up! Most of you know my mom had a stroke in March 2022. She spent a few weeks in rehab before returning home and we found a new normal. She was able to get around well and everything was going smoothly. Then the diagnosis of dementia came. It started off slowly but it really flew from beginning stage to late stage dementia just over this summer. In fact, Drew and I went to watch the sunset on June 8 and she was fine at home alone. That would be the last time we would get out just the two of us without having someone sit with her. Now we spend most days reminding her what day it is, explaining why none of us went to church (because it's not Sunday) and convincing her we're not checking out of a hotel to go back home when she wakes up. However, we have some new people on our "team" that is helping make things a little more bearable. Hospice sends a nurse twice a week, a home health aide twice, a social worker twice a month as well as the chaplain. Everyone that has come has been wonderful. They are so caring and it's nice for them (especially the aides) to come in and say, "We've got her for now. Relax." Both of our kids have taken a couple hours to sit with her so we could get out for a couple hours and we even had a dear friend spend an entire Saturday with her so we could take one road trip together this summer. Thank you to all who have become a part of our family. I've spent a lot of the summer with something floating through my head. I need to get it out so let's see if typing it out helps. So, when I went to college originally, I spent much of one school year living on a farm with dear friends. We had sheep along with other animals. But I've been thinking a lot about those sheep. As I think back, I realize that each of the sheep needed different types of care from us. Some of them would go to the food that we put on one side of the pen even though they were on the opposite side. Some needed the food placed right in front of their face. Some would follow us around and nudge us if we didn't pay attention to them. People are much like those sweet sheep we had. Some people are content to have people pass by on the other side away from them. Some want us to come right up and give them attention and others will follow in our shadow until we notice them. Think about the "shepherds" in your life. They could be bosses, pastors, team leaders or coaches. Are they meeting the needs of the different "sheep" in their "flock" or are some sheep going missing because no one seems to care? Come alongside those lost sheep and let them know you are there for them. More recent developments in our lives are the fact that Drew's dad was diagnosed with cancer last week. Doctors are working to determine the best course of action. This week, his mom was diagnosed with early dementia and Parkinson's. His sister is caring for his mom and his step-sister is caring for his dad. These diagnoses never come easy. But I think they're harder when we're in the midst of caregiving here and not able to get away to be there for them. Changes in life have meant that we have not gotten to do our regular summer adventures. With the exception of last Saturday, the furthest we had been away from home was 15 minutes. We haven't been to the beach since June 8, we didn't make it to any state parks or even gotten to Ohio for our annual family farm visit. Most days, our biggest adventure is going out to see if any tomatoes have ripened. However, I mentioned that a dear friend came and spent an entire day with mom so we could get out just the two of us. We started out by visiting Drew's mom (as well as his sister and brother-in-law) at their home for awhile. It was nice to sit and visit with them. After that, we headed to a "park" I had read about when I did a search for bison viewing. In case you didn't know, bison are one of my favorite animals (along with pandas and flamingos). My favorite Indiana state park is one with a bison enclosure. My favorite way to drive to the beach takes us past a bison farm where I often pull off the road to take pictures and talk to them. So finding a place where bison roam on 1,100 acres of land was like a dream come true. Now, let's point out that this "park" is 8,400 acres of wetland and prairie with hiking trails throughout. So for a hiker who adores bison, this place is perfect! I stood right next to the fence where I could have reached out and touched my sweet fluffy cows (and probably would have tried if it hadn't been an electric fence). After taking a ton of bison photos and talking to them for awhile, we went to one of the hiking trails and I took a 1.5 mile hike through dense woods where I ended up seeing the foundational remains of buildings from the former town of Conrad, Indiana. This town was started in the early 1900's and by the early 1930's had been abandoned. It was pretty haunting to think I was standing inside the foundation of homes that had been inhabited some 95-120 years ago! Check Kankakee Sands out at

We've had our grandsons with us every other week all summer, two of our granddaughters overnight once or twice a week and mom to take care of all summer. Some days I feel like going back to school in two weeks will be like a vacation. Other days I realize I'm going to miss those sure-you-can-come-spend-the-night-with-us times. At any rate, two weeks from today I will be sitting here trying to stay awake until bedtime after my first full day with students. A whole new adventure awaits as I teach all day and then come home to take over caregiving. I know it won't be easy but I also know we will make it through this season. Besides, I'm beyond ready to get this school year started! Stay cool and hydrated if you're in this heatwave. If you're not, send us some cool breezes. ❤️ Brenda (for both of us and the crazy circus we're ringmasters for)