Celebrations, Sand Dunes and Sunsets

     Saturday was a day I never thought I'd see. We had a celebration of life service for my sweet Daddy. While I didn't have to say goodbye to him (I had already said goodbye here on earth and know I will see him again some day), it made his absence so final. However, the service was beautiful and it was wonderful to share memories with so many friends and family. Our church family provided a wonderful lunch for us and we spent some time visiting with family at my Mom's afterward.
     Being such a beautiful day and Drew being off work, we just felt like a little getaway was appropriate. Saturday is our day to have Clara so we asked her a very loaded question..."Do you want to go to the beach?" This little spitfire dynamite-in-a-cute-little-blonde-haired-blue-eyed-two-year-old didn't hesitate to answer..."YES! I WANNA GO TO THE BEACH!!"
     She and I have made several trips to the beach together so she knows how this goes. But she has never been there to see the sunset. She's used to being there when we put on our swimsuits and walk out into the lake. She's never been there when we wear coats and shoes. But off we went. This would be a new experience for all three of us - her first sunset trip to the beach and our first sunset trip with a two-year-old.
      Let me tell you that I never get tired of seeing the world through the eyes of a child. I never get tired of helping them explore the world around them. They find joy in such simple things. If you give them a chance, they'll help you learn to slow down and see things you might otherwise miss. As adults, we tend to rush our way through things rather than take time to notice the little things. Some might say we were crazy for willingly taking a toddler to see the sunset. I say we would have been crazy not to!
     When we got there, she reminded me we needed the sand toys and her blanket. (I told you she knows how this goes!) We got her things and grabbed our cameras. As we walked to the beach, she asked me to hold her. I asked her if I needed to hold her and she said yes. I asked her why I needed to hold her and she said, "Because it's late!" Apparently she was in a hurry to get to the beach. I wish I knew where she got that from. Anyway, we headed to the beach, chose a spot, which wasn't hard since we were the only ones on the beach, and set up her play area. We made sure we were far enough down the beach that Drew and I could walk around a take pictures but one of us would always be close enough to watch her and help her as needed. She contentedly played in the sand for quite a bit. She asked Bapa for a little help when he was close by and then asked me for help when I was close.
     Soon she wanted to take a break from playing in the sand, which is typically what we do. Usually she will take a break to wander around and visit with our "friends" on the beach. Of course, being the only ones there, she headed off for the other thing we take breaks for - she made a beeline straight for the water. Ama was close behind (yes, I ran...no, there is no video of said action) and stopped her right at the water's edge. We talked about the difference between the lake water in the summer and lake water in the winter. We discussed the fact that the water was too cold to swim this time. She and I walked a couple hundred yards along the beach. She would stop once in awhile to look at rocks or wonder where the fish were.
     When I stopped to take some photos of the sunset, she walked over to the edge of the bluff. Due to lots of storms over the course of the winter which included lots of high wind, the bluff is more of a sand dune at some places. That works out well for a fearless toddler who looked at that dune as a challenge that needed to be taken on. She entertained herself while I took photos (I promise I was also watching her so she didn't get hurt). She was pretty proud of herself when she got to the top of the slope. When she came back down, we spent some time talking about the sunset. She couldn't figure out why we said goodbye to the sun but then she saw the "'nudder sun" (moon) over the bluff. So, that was a great teaching moment.
     As I continued watching the sunset, she noticed there was a part of a deck that was laying on the beach. She decided it would make a great balance beam and walked back and forth from one end to the other. She would stop once in awhile to say goodnight to the sun as it continued it's descent. When the sun was almost gone, she realized the lighthouses were blinking at her. Of course, that became the topic of conversation for the next 10 minutes.
     After a stunning sunset, we said goodbye to the lighthouses and made our way to the car. She talked a lot about the sunset and our time on the beach as we made our way home. You see, children don't need you to buy them things or even spend money on things to make them happy. For the price of a few gallons of gas, we made Clara so happy! A wise man once said, "A person's a person, no matter how small." So, you think we're crazy for taking a toddler to see the sunset on the beach? Nope! We embraced the opportunity to show her something we enjoy and continue developing in her a sense of adventure and wonder. May she never outgrow that!

Being Present

     We all have times in our lives when we need to be present, attend something. In school, we had to be present more days than not. At work, you have to be present in order to keep your job. We're present for weddings, funerals, parties, church services and staff meetings. But how often are we just present - just with - people? Ya know...just to be there.

     Moment of full disclosure: I struggle to be present. Often times, even when I'm physically sitting with someone, I may not be mentally there. My mind wanders and thinks of what I need to do next. No, I don't have ADD or ADHD. I've been tested. I just struggle to focus on one thing at a time. But I'm working on being present.

     Here's what made me realize I need to work more on that. Let me give you a little background knowledge by making a long story short. 30 years ago this December, my parents and I were in a car accident. My dad suffered a severe head injury which drastically changed the next 29 1/2 years of his life. The part of his brain most severely damaged was the part that senses pain. So he would burn his arm on the barrel while burning leaves and not know it or cut himself while working in the garage and have no clue. It led to needing emergency surgery on his appendix because he couldn't feel that anything was wrong, 2 broken hips that never hurt him and a broken shoulder that didn't register with him. Most recently, it led to one of the hardest things I've dealt with in my life - the death of my father.

     The past few years, he's been unable to drive. My mom grew up in Chicago and never needed to drive (and honestly would struggle to find her way out of a wet paper bag so it's best for her not to drive or she'd be lost in a heartbeat). So I've been their primary source of transportation. I'm sad to admit there have been times I didn't want to. There were times I'd get frustrated because they were so slow. The last time I got to be present with my dad that he knew I was there was February 17. I took them to run and errand and an ambulance had to take him to the hospital because he became unresponsive. I had just gotten over influenza B so I wasn't able to visit him until February 21, his last day on earth.

     Since that horrible night, I've witnessed people being present. Friends and family have come to just sit with my mom. My aunt has come to drive my mom places. People have called. Neighbors have visited. People have just sat and let her cry while they listened. The common thing I've witnessed is the fact that they were not only physically present but they were also mentally present. They didn't have their noses in their cell phones, they weren't distracted by TV or anything else. They were focused on my mom. We've been working on being more present, too. We've spent the last two Sundays taking her out just to get away. We've shared meals and ice cream. We've seen sunsets. We've laughed together. We've just been there for her.

     One of the biggest hindrances to being present with people these days seems to be the ability to be connected no matter where you are. The majority of people today have smart phones. A lot of those people keep their noses so stuck to those screens that they don't even realize there are other people in the room. Social media, games, apps...being so connected can be dangerous. I've learned something I've really always known: you never know when it's going to be your last day with someone. Be present now. Listen to them. Be patient with them. Tell them you love them. If you need to, forgive them. Or ask for forgiveness. But be present. Your phone doesn't need you, your Facebook and Instagram feeds will still be there. Trust me. I go hours without picking up my phone and everything is right there when I pick it up...and I realize it's not usually anything important. People are the ones that need you. I'd give anything for one more "I love you, Dad" followed by, "I do too" and then a little chuckle and an "I love you too." Don't wait until it's too late.